Regarding the wage gap: I think it should also be noted that Larry Ellison, another co-founder of Oracle, gained a salary of $77 million as of 2013
How am I not surprised?
*I apologise if I seem overtly angry in this post but I have noticed this too many times to be cool about it.*
Okay so I’ve noticed this in a LOT of movies. Where the girl must ‘prove’ herself to a boy or a man, she must prove that she is equal. By doing this, she often competes in a sport with said male or does something typically ‘masculine’ like fix a beat up car or make an amazing piece of woodwork in shop. NEVER is the ‘proof of equality’ something like… dialating 10cm and pushing a 7 pound child out of your vagina. It’s not bleeding for five days a month for forty years of your life and dealing with it like it’s diddly squat. It’s not plucking, waxing, shaving, applying makeup, wearing uncomfortable clothes and shoes because society says this is the only way someone of the opposite sex will find you attractive. It’s not living in a patriarchal society where everyday men are considered ‘above’ you.
Women struggle to prove themselves every day, we work 10x harder to get the same results as a man, e.g. in your job or in school.
Yet, men believe that I’m below them ‘cause I’m not very good at sports and I don’t know how to hot wire a car. Is that really the pinnacle of our society? Does anybody legitimately believe that if a woman, who goes through all of the above and so much more on a daily basis, isn’t equal to a man if she can’t do mundane tasks such as the ones stated above? (And believe me, any woman could. Easily. It’s just women are taught from an early age that those are ‘dude’ things that we wouldn’t be good at anyway. BS!)
This post makes some good points, but it’s very focused on cis men and cis women.
I will call this post ciscentric. Because some women don’t have a vagina and have to go through even more to prove that they’re worthy of being equal to cis women, let alone cis men in society.
When I was in fifth grade, I had a teacher named Mr. S.
He routinely picked on the students. Mainly the girls. I was very anxious in the fifth grade and would have anxiety attacks in the middle of class. They manifested as me speaking quickly and shaking my hands and “ticking”. Rolling my shoulders and bouncing my legs and such.
Mr. S started calling me “Spaz”.
The name stuck and it became what bullies called me for years to come. I was Spaz. Because I was anxious. When I told my parents about this because it upset me, they called the school to demand why it was okay for their teachers to call students names.
The response they got was, “He’s a man. He’s not as sensitive as a woman. We’ll talk to him.”
I don’t think they ever did because it never stopped and he went on to become a principal at another school.
I hated fifth grade.
Here are two conversations, based on two friends of mine who had two uncomfortable encounters with gay men who were strangers to them.
Dude: Excuse me, excuse me, can I ask you a question?
Woman: Uh, what?
Dude: Do you know you look *exactly like* Margaret Cho?
Woman: Actually, I don’t. AT ALL! Also, I’m Filipina. She’s Korean. If you think that ‘it’s all the same’ since we’re both Asian, note that there are many other differences. For one, I have short hair, she has long hair. Do you think that EVERY NON SKINNY ASIAN WOMAN LOOKS LIKE FUCKING MARGARET CHO??
Dude: Oh Moy Gawd, I was just complimenting you! I love Margaret Cho! I’m a GAY MAN!!! Ew, Don’t be a BITCH!
Man #1 (whispering): She looks *just* like Barbra Streisand
Man #2 (laughing): I KNOW!
Woman: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Man #1: You look like La Diva Streisand! Do you know who that is?
Man #2: Can you sing something for us, honey?
Woman: I DO NOT LOOK LIKE BARBRA STREISAND
Man (she didn’t tell me which one said this): But you *are* Jewish, aren’t you?
Woman: And you *are* anti-Semetic, aren’t you?
Man: Oh my God, I was complimenting you, I’m GAY!
Man: Now I know why straight men hate ladies so much, if only the guys would turn to us!
Man: Most of my girlfriends would know if I called them La Streisand, they’d be flattered. Even if it’s just because they have a big nose and squinty eyes! Honey, you should REVERE your GAY BROTHERS. No one else would be so nice to you.
JUST BECAUSE CIS GAY MEN DON’T WANT TO FUCK ANYONE BUT OTHER CIS GAY MEN DOESN’T MEAN THEY RESPECT ANYONE ELSE BUT THEMSELVES OR EACH OTHER. THEY ARE INSTRUMENTS OF MALE PRIVILEGE. THEY HAVE INSTRUMENTS OF MALE PRIVILEGE. THEY WORSHIP INSTRUMENTS OF MALE PRIVILEGE.
Btw, I’m a gay trans guy. I hear cis women take shit from gay guys on a regular basis (and I used to as well, until my cis queer boyfriend told them to fuck right off about my not being a “real” man) and they always say that “gay guys are just as oppressed as we are.” I don’t think gay cis guys are as oppressed as women (cis or trans), trans men, or genderqueer people are. Hell, I don’t even think they are as oppressed as people like my boyfriend, who dates me and has to hear how he’s not a “real man” because he won’t date a “someone with a cock” or “at least get to bang someone with a gross vagina.” I am tired of gay cis men getting a free pass out of being accused of having male privilege.
Just today I was asked to “strike a pose” when I went to the coffeehouse next door to my house in my pajamas by a guy who had, while I was on line, been laughing with his fellow friends about his habit of asking “weirdo trannies and ugly girls” to “strike a pose” and how “any attention-starved girl or tranny” would be excited to do so, since “I’m so the next David LaChappelle.” I am a stupid ass social anxiety dork who is literally terrified of confrontation so I whimpered “No” and practically ran to the window where I would receive my drink. After I got my drink and headed across the way, he was doing these Madonnanastics and hand-hieroglyphics at me while yelling, “Come on, PAT! Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it, VOGUE!” I assumed “PAT” was the SNL character who no one knew was a boy or a girl (yet since it was Julia Sweeney, a lot of people seem to now use it to slam FTMs like myself). Everyone at his table, the super-feminine scantily clad cis girls, and the aerobicized, Bieber-banged and skinny jeaned gay guys all had a great time laughing at me as I skulked away.
.P.S. I hope no one has a problem with my descriptions of his table companions. I tried to make it accurate.
I’ve run into the same thing from gay men about the “not being a real man” part.
While I’m not comfortable with everything in this post, it does make good points about behaviors I myself have personally seen and heard from others.
I’m going to tag for racism and antisemitism because of the listed conversations to be safe.