[IMAGE: Two google searches. The first has “how to hint to your boyfriend” in the search bar. The autofill reads:
"How to hint to your boyfriend that you want flowers."
"How to hint to your boyfriend that you want a promise ring"
"How to hint to your boyfriend that you want to kiss."
"How to hint to your boyfriend that you want a baby."
The second google search has “how to hint to your girlfriend” in the search bar. The autofill reads:
"How to hint to your girlfriend to lose weight."
"How to hint to your girlfriend that you want head."
"How to hint to your girlfriend"
"How to hint to your girlfriend to shave"]
That Explains a Lot
what the fuck
b4rdiel said: Wait, other men "support and benefit from the same system of entitlement" as this shooter? So yeah, he wasn't crazy, he was just pissed off and sexist as shit. But are you saying, by being a man, I support and benefit from this kind of behavior?
I’m going to say yes purely because you felt the need to ask me this question. Male privilege makes you benefit regardless but instead of asking me this question you would be challenging other men deconstruct their privilege. You would be questioning the shooters actions and thinking about how similar other men think not what I wrote.
We don’t know if [the UCSB shooter] was mentally ill. We don’t know if he was a “madman.” We do know that he was desperately lonely and unhappy, and that the Men’s Rights Movement convinced him that his loneliness and unhappiness was intentionally caused by women.
Because this is what the Men’s Rights Movement does: it spreads misogyny, it spreads violence, and most of all it spreads a sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies.
Pretending that this is the a rare act perpetrated by a “crazy” person is disingenuous and also does nothing to address the threat of violence that women face every day. We can’t just write this one off – we need to talk about all of the fucked up parts of our culture, especially the movements that teach men that they have the right to dominate and intimidate and violate women, that lead to this, and we need to change things. Because if we don’t, I guarantee that this will happen again. And again. And again. — [The UCSB shooter] And Men Who Hate Women (via lipsredasroses)
(Source: yayfeminism, via malesexistbehavior)
men violently murder women literally every day and men still get offended when women are fucking terrified of them
I (27/M) am not happy with the “open” part of my open relationship with girlfriend (25/F). Together 2 years, “open” 6ish mo.
How we met: We met about 2.5 years ago on OkCupid. She lived close, we met up and got on well. After a few months we decided to get together. We were not open at this point. The relationship was great emotionally. She was sweet, attentive, caring and supportive. We also had a lot in common and had fun together, which is what I lacked in previous relationships so I was keen to keep this one and still am.
Becoming open: Around 6-7 months ago give or take, I found myself feeling disconnected from her and the relationship. I was looking at other women quite a bit, and couldn’t seem to stop even though I DID feel guilty. I ended up singing up to a sex-themed website (fetlife.com). This is NOT a dating website, I wasn’t planning to cheat when I signed up, it’s more a social network and I was mainly interested in looking at pictures posted there.
When I was on this website it was like I found what I thought I was missing. Loads of hot girls, who seemed happy to interact with me, mainly. I started commenting on pictures and girls started talking, flirting with me. I knew things were getting inappropriate for the relationship but I couldn’t stop. I really wanted to hook up and date again, and experience these other women.
Not meaning offense to my girlfriend, but she’s a big girl (had been since I dated her though so I didn’t feel it was my place to say anything) and while I enjoyed her body, I can’t deny that the draw of all the hotter women on the website who were seemingly interested in me was too much and I was feeling more and more disconnected from my relationship with this gaping hole in my needs not being met. I still loved my girlfriend and she fulfilled me emotionally, but physically my desires were completely elsewhere. Eventually I realised that the best thing for me to do would be to open up the relationship or break up with my girlfriend.
I spoke to her about this and, well, it broke her heart at the time. She was sobbing on me the whole night of me talking to her about it, saying she wanted to be monogamous and she didn’t like the thought of an open relationship at all. She asked for a couple of weeks to think about it, which happened, but when we spoke about it again she told me she still didn’t want to do it. I had to tell her at this point it was this or break up as I didn’t feel fulfilled. At this, she said okay, she would try the open relationship.
So, in short, she agreed to the open relationship even though she hated the idea as she didn’t want to break up. She wanted to know how an open relationship worked so I set down a few ground rules and boundaries which we both agreed to. Mainly things like.. sleep with whoever you want whenever you want, but always with protection. Casual dating is allowed as long as the person you’re dating knows the situation (since it’s hard to sleep with someone without a date first). Our relationship shouldn’t suffer and we still need to be there for each other. etc.
My Problem. Less than two months later from this, she’s signed up on FetLife too and now 100% enjoying herself. There are men crawling all over her, her profile, her pictures she’s put up. I know for a fact that she’s been on a heck of a lot of dates, both with people from the website and off it, and I also know she’s been intimate with many of them too (I keep seeing comments on her pictures saying vulgar things like ‘God I miss my mouth around those beautiful breasts’ etc from other men who I know she has been on dates with..)
Me, on the other hand? I’ve not hooked up with anyone, and only had one date. All the women who seemed to be interested in me turned out to only want to flirt online and only wanted attention, and when I brought up meeting up with any of them I got rejected. The only women who wanted to at all meet me or go out with me I wasn’t attracted to. I went out with one local girl from Fetlife just to give it a chance, because my own girlfriend had found so many dates/hookups, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be attracted and nothing happened. I havn’t been able to find anyone else who wants to sleep with me off the website either. Me and my girlfriend still date and sleep together of course, but besides that I’m completely dry. I don’t think this is at all fair on me considering how many dates she’s been on and I imagine how many guys she’s fucked.
It got worse recently. Just this past Friday night I go out to the late night shop, and on the main road I find my girlfriend standing outside a pub with a guy, holding hands and making out. He was at least 6’4, muscles everywhere you look, arms covered in tattoos (which I know my girlfriend likes). I feel like shit. My girlfriend sees me, immediately breaks away from him and comes over smiling all over her face. She hugs me, kisses me, then the guy comes and introduces himself. It was awkward as fuck honestly, but my girlfriend didn’t seem to notice at all. After stupid chitchat I tell them I need to get going, at which my girlfriend tells me she loves me, kisses me and that she will text me the next day as she wanted a date with me the next night. She then says she’s going to go into the pub to visit the bathroom, and asked her “date” to wait outside for her and then after they’ll “get going” (back to her place I assume..).
So I start to walk away as she goes into the pub to the bathroom, and I hear the guy say “Hey” behind me. I swear he had the biggest shit eating grin all over his fucking face. He said to me “Mate, you’re a better guy than I am. If I had a lady like that I wouldn’t let anyone else touch her. Lucky for me you guys have this open thing going on”. He said it like he was pretending to be friendly, but obviously it was a dig because he could tell I wasn’t happy right then. I just nodded and walked off.
My girlfriend rang me Saturday afternoon and I told her what happened and what the guy said, but she swears that he was just being complimentary/polite to me and that he’s from FetLife, and knows all about our relationship and my own profile on there which is why he was chatting to me. I told her that I still thought his comment was inappropriate and that I didn’t want her dating this guy again, to which she said ‘Okay’ but she obviously wasn’t happy about it. I didn’t ask if they had hooked up, because I could already tell they had with how she was all over him. I told her I didn’t feel like I wanted to hangout that night. She hasn’t contacted me since then.
I feel like utter shit. I’m going to be honest and say I have no idea why a guy like that is interested in my girlfriend and not out with a hot girl. I had no idea my girlfriend would get this much attention and it makes me feel like shit. I now realise if it’s not this guy, it’s going to be another with his hands all over my girlfriend. She has guys all over her, most likely just using her, but most of them more attractive than me and god knows what else………… and I only manage to get one date with someone I wasn’t even attracted to. I still feel unfulfilled.
I’m on her FetLife profile now while writing this and I have to look at this shit every day, and her relishing in it without ANY thought to my lack of dates. Not once has she asked me about my dates or who I’ve met off FetLife, and it’s obvious my profile is barren of any interaction compared to hers.
I can’t really fault the relationship I have with my girlfriend if I’m honest. She’s still her sweet, supportive self and she does make time for me, but I feel this open relationship has gotten really unfair now.
So that’s it. I don’t want to break up with her but I want it to stop, and to close the relationship again. But because it was my idea to open it, and we went through that difficulty before she started enjoying it, I don’t know how to bring it up or what I say when I do. I just know it’s got to stop now and this can’t be healthy for either of us.
tl;dr: Asked my girlfriend for an open relationship so we could both date and sleep with other people. My girlfriend has been on way too many dates and I’m sure she’s hooked up with a good few too. I havn’t. Feel the open relationship has gotten way too unfair towards me and I want to close it, but because it was my idea I don’t know how to bring it up to her. Need advice on how to do this and close the relationship again.
I cannot stop laughing at this shitstain. I hope his girlfriend leaves him forever.
omg, you should have seen my face reading this.
Only the fact that I’m at work, in a shared office, is keeping me from actually laughing like that out loud right this second.
Whiny boys who demand “open” relationships and then get [redacted] when their girlfriends take advantage of that arrangement to enjoy themselves will never not be hilarious. Shoulda thought this through first, genius.
THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Oh and even look at this -
“I have no idea why a guy like that is interested in my girlfriend and not out with a hot girl.”
Wow dude, and you think the other guys are using her while you’re some paragon of good lover? Sounds like you didn’t appreciate what you had, but someone else did.
tl;dr: Dude wanted an open relationship ONLY if he was the one that benefited from it the most it sounds like.
we always say it’s our daughters our wives our sisters who are getting raped, we never say that it’s our sons our fathers our brothers who are doing the raping.
Anonymous said: Male privilege is when, in your physics class there are only 8 girls left out of 30 kids. Then, when you're watching Star Trek in class, and a women takes off all her clothes and you point it out that it was unnecessary, the entire class jeers at you. My two best friends told me that it was because the movie was catering to its intended demographic. I pulled up evidence that nearly 50% of gamers are women. No matter how much evidence I give, they won't listen.
As much as I love Patrick Stewart and his work to end violence against women, I hate that there is this notion that it takes a man. Women fighting to end their own oppression isn’t good enough. No, we need a man to sweep in and save the day. A woman who fights her own oppression also doesn’t get any respect and is told to sit down and shut up. But a man who tries to stop the harm caused by men is amazing, gets applauded, and gets awards for just being a decent human being.
I hate the notion that it is going to take men. No. While men helping is great, it is women who are doing the real hard work without any of the rewards given to men. And it is women who should be applauded for fighting an uphill battle against oppression, not just men who help from a position of privilege.
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